First and foremost, you must remember that YOU ARE HUMAN!!!! We, as humans, make mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Put the bat away and stop beating yourself up. Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. “If nothing happens, then nothing would ever happen.” – Dory, Finding Nemo.

When I reflect on my healing journey, I remember the things that helped me through it and are still helping me today. I remember the obstacles I encountered and how I overcame them. I want to share what helped me in the hopes that it will help you. You may have to find/create your own tools, but that’s why it’s called a journey. You can create your own path.

Keep in mind that healing is a process. It’s not instantaneous. It doesn’t happen overnight. How long it takes is up to you. What it looks like is up to you. Every journey is unique to every individual. The steps and their order is just a recommendation. You can start anywhere you like. Just make the decision to START SOMEWHERE.

1st Step: FORGIVE
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I know what you’re thinking. “NO WAY I’m going to FORGIVE him/her for what they did to me!!!” I didn’t want to forgive either, but that is truly where it all starts. Forgiveness is for you not for them. It starts the healing process. You have to start forgiving yourself and whoever that person is that you feel has done you wrong, has hurt you, has fired you, etc. This is the hardest of all the steps but it’s the most important. My minister once said in one of his sermons “Resentment is like drinking poison and wishing the other person would die.” I always say that resentment is “re-sensing the pain.” You choose to re-sense the pain. Why? I’m sure it didn’t feel good the first time you went through it, so why would you choose to continue to feel that pain? It can’t feel good! At least begin to see yourself forgiving that person and releasing and letting them go. Say “This is my soul talking to your soul. I forgive you and release you and let you go.” That’s where it all starts.
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When I was 26 years old, I decided I had enough, and I needed to do something. I realized I was crazy as hell and needed to do something to help me and the rest of the world around me. I was angry, fought with everyone, argued with everyone; it was time to change. I was attending Unity Church of Miami at the time, and they were offering a forgiveness workshop, and I decided to take it. WOW! It was one of the best things I could have done for myself. Today, I look in the mirror every day and forgive myself. When I feel those feelings resurfacing, I start to forgive that person all over again. Forgiveness wasn’t for them—it was for me. I started my healing my first day at that class, and I am still working on it. I probably will until the day I die. Healing

HEALING SUGGESTIONS :

Start an “appreciation journal.” Start focusing on your GOOD.

Start a ”forgiveness journal”. Let go of all that BAGGAGE.

Attend a forgiveness workshop. Unity has them. See if your church has one.

Enroll in one of the programs from this website:

– Individual Therapy

– Life Consulting

– Online Workshops (coming soon)

2nd Step: TELL YOUR STORY
The Power of the Tongue. “The tongue has the power of life and death…”18:21)

If you’re telling an unhealthy story of your life, it will perpetuate the same reality.

According to research in narrative psychology, an emerging field of study that examines how stories shape our lives and personalities, the stories we tell ourselves play a large role in who we are.  STOP TELLING THE SAD STORY OF YOUR LIFE!!!! We have all been hurt by someone, betrayed, used and abused, had our heart broken, and been lied to. I’m sure you’ve had stuff happen to you. I believe we all have been there to some extent. The existence of each person contains challenges, disappointments, frustrations, failed expectations and, for some, traumatic events. I’m not telling you to let go of your story. I’m telling you to change it. Look at it in a different way. We are in desperate need for a paradigm shift. If you compare the good times in your life and the bad times, I’m sure you’ve had more good times than bad; however, society has taught us to look at the glass half empty. So, we focus on the bad.

I believe that all of the life experiences I have had (bad and good—and I have had quite a few bad ones) were opportunities for me to learn and grow. They have made me stronger, wiser, more determined, and have given me this desire to help others. I believe they have made me the person I am today. I am an awesome person and I love myself. I’m not proud of some of the things I went through. I’m not happy about them. It’s not about what happens to you; it’s about what you do with what happens to you. This is how I turned my “Pain into Purpose”. I share my story ONLY if it will help someone. I turned my sad story into an inspirational one. I went from being molested at the age of 2, drugged at 9, raped at 12 and everything in between to getting my GED, going to college, obtaining my associates, bachelor’s and master’s degrees and starting three businesses. I changed my life around for the better. I’m not just another statistic. I tell my story to show you that if I did it, you can as well, no matter what you’ve been through in life.

I believe that out of everything bad comes something good!!! Take a minute and think about a situation that you encountered that was very hard and painful that later proved to be for the better or even the best thing that ever happened to you; a divorce, a break up, loss of a job or a home. Everything in life comes to pass. Nothing is here to stay.

HEALING SUGGESTIONS :

Write your story the way that you would tell it today, and then rewrite it with a positive twist to it. Find the opportunities, strength and inspiration in it. I’m sure you have overcome many obstacles. Notice how you did it and that you’re still here today to tell the story. That’s what counts. Focus on what you can be proud of.

3rd Step: CHANGE YOUR MIND AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE
One of the things that helped me change my world was changing my mind about the world. I had to start seeing things and people differently. This can be very difficult because we have our thoughts on the world and the people in it, and they have been with us throughout our lives. When I was I in school, my teacher asked me “Was seeing believing or believing seeing?” At first, I was sure that seeing was believing, and I would have argued that point forever with anyone, but then you live and learn, and I realized that believing is seeing. Whatever we believe is what we see. I’ve learned many lessons in life, and I would have to say that this was a valuable one; you can’t change the world or the people in it; you can only change the way you see them.

This article from Paul Hasselbeck says it all.  This key idea—that human beings create their experience by the activity of their thinking —is sometimes known as the Law of Mind Action. It is usually stated, “Thoughts held in mind produce after their kind.”

The bottom line for us as individuals is that the law of mind action (thoughts held in mind produce after their kind) certainly operates 100 percent of the time at the level of the mind. Whatever we think about with emotion will affect our mental state.

If we think sad thoughts, we experience sadness. If we think happy thoughts, we experience happiness. It is as simple as that! There is now proof that our minds are hard-wired to our bodies; our thoughts produce chemicals in our body as a result of those thoughts. Positive thoughts give rise to health supporting chemicals while negative thoughts give rise to “harmful” chemicals. Our thoughts can depress our immune system. So it is important to watch the thoughts we hold in our minds and change them when they do not reflect what we want to experience.

By Paul Hasselbeck
http://www.unity.org/resources/articles/law-mind-action

4th Step: VISUALIZATION

When I was about 24, I was in college and didn’t have much money (like most college students). I was on a ramen noodle budget. I was member of Unity Center of Miami, and I attended their Treasure Mapping workshop. This is where I began to learn about visualization. I cut out a picture of an SUV that I wanted and placed it on my mirror so that I could see it every morning. Everyone laughed at me and asked how I planned on getting a new car when I didn’t even have a job. I didn’t let them deter me. I was committed to getting my car.  I bought it three months later. I learned about vision boards and visualization from Unity and have been using them ever since. I feel that I have accomplished all that I have because of my vision boards and visualization. I learned more about visualization from the movie The Secret.  It’s very powerful, and I suggest you watch it. I found this article and wanted to share it.

Denis Waitley, Ph.D. is a noted psychologist who states in The Secret that he was inspired by the visualization process from the Apollo mission.  So he then used the program during the 1980s and 1990s in the Olympics program. They called it Visual Motor Rehearsal.

According to Waitley, “When you visualize, then you materialize.  And the interesting thing about the mind is… we took Olympic athletes, and then hooked them up to sophisticated biofeedback equipment, and had them run their event only in their mind. Incredibly, the same muscles fired in the same sequence when they were running the race in their mind as when they were running on the track. How could this be?  Because the mind cannot distinguish whether you’re really doing it, or whether it’s just a practice. I believe if you’ve been there in the mind, you’ll go there in the body too.”

So, visualization is thinking beyond what you can see in your physical reality.  And despite the literal meaning of the word, it goes beyond merely “seeing” the results you want, but feeling, hearing, touching, and in every other way possible, experiencing those results… in your mind.

If visualization is so effective that its power can even be measured scientifically, we should research ways to do it more effectively and incorporate it into our daily routine.

Here are some ideas to help you start developing your visualization power today:

Read the whole story at http://themasteryman.com/astronauts-athletes/

Watch The Secret

Create a vision board.

Start visualizing want you want to see more of in your life. Start with five minutes then move up from there.

5th Step: NUTRITION

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You are what you eat. There is so much truth in this statement. I recommended some documentaries on the Healing Resources page. I suggest you watch them and learn all that you can about how the food you eat is affecting you and your family. There is so much evidence that the food we eat is making us sick. I was very sick to the point that they wanted to remove my stomach and replace it with a colostomy bag. At that point I found Gerson Therapy and today there is no need for surgery, I have no more pain and I haven’t been to the emergency room for over a year. Hippocrates said it best, “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be they food”. Start eating more organic vegetables if at all possible. Make your own food.  Stop eating out so much. Juice!!! Juicing is an excellent start. Eat from the earth; get out of those boxes and cans. DON’T DIET!!!!! Change the way you eat and don’t make it a diet but a lifestyle. Finally, when you do choose to eat something unhealthy, don’t feel guilty about it and beat yourself up; that makes it worse.  Remember in step 4 Paul Hasselbeck stated, “There is now proof that our minds are hard-wired to our bodies; our thoughts produce chemicals in our body as a result of those thoughts. Positive thoughts give rise to health supporting chemicals while negative thoughts give rise to “harmful” chemicals. Our thoughts can depress our immune system.” So, if you start feeling guilty about the food you eat what message does it send to your body and how does your body react? Remember this is LIFE and there has to be a balance!!!!!!!! So, eat very healthy 80 percent of the time, and 20 percent of the time eat whatever you feel like and don’t feel guilty about it.

HEALING SUGGESTIONS :

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Visit www.gerson.org and explore how food can heal the body

6th Step: EXERCISE

All the evidence and research shows that exercise is beneficial in every shape and form. There is no question and no doubt. I found this article that focuses on the clinically depressed.“Millions of Americans suffer from clinical depression each year. Most depressed patients first seek treatment from their primary care providers. Generally, depressed patients treated in primary care settings receive pharmacologic therapy alone. There is evidence to suggest that the addition of cognitive-behavioral therapies, specifically exercise, can improve treatment outcomes for many patients. Exercise is a behavioral intervention that has shown great promise in alleviating symptoms of depression.”
The Benefits of Exercise for the Clinically Depressed Lynette L. Craft, Ph.D. and Frank M. Perna,Ed.D., Ph.D.

Exercise is vital for maintaining mental fitness and reducing stress. Science has also provided some evidence that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people. Exercise may improve mental health by helping the brain cope better with stress. In one study, researchers found that those who got regular vigorous exercise were 25 percent less likely to develop depression or an anxiety disorder over the next five years. All the research shows that exercise helps with anxiety, depression, stress, fatigue, bones, the effects of aging, etc. All the evidence shows that you can benefit from exercise, so what are you waiting for? This should be a part of your daily life just like eating and sleeping.

HEALING SUGGESTIONS :

Start walking everyday

Start going to the gym

I absolutely LOVE Crossfit so I dare you to start Crossfit.

7th The Final Step: “To Make a Difference in Life You Have to Make a Difference in Someone’s Life” – Jazz Irizarry

Help someone!!! I find when you focus on someone else you realize that your problems are small.

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Everything I present to you on this page I’ve collected throughout the years. I heard it, saw it or learned it somewhere, and it helped me on my journey.  Everything except for my motto, which I created myself—it came from the heart.  So, I invite you to use these ideas and pass them on or find your own. Inspiration can come from a song, a story, the Bible, a book, a person, and even a child. It can come from anywhere.

Please take a minute to check out the link below for this video is truly inspirational. My 13-year-old son passed it on to me, and now I pass it on to you, and I can only hope that you can pass it on. Good luck on your journey and enjoy the video. May it touch your heart, soul and spirit the way it did mine.  Thank you for taking the time to visit my site; I know your time is valuable. I can only hope that you pass it on.

I truly couldn’t have made it without my family and friends and I want to thank them. Last but not least, I want to especially thank my children for standing by me “no matter what”. I love you with all my heart and soul. – Jazz Irizarry